"Bullion is the Soylent Green of chickens."
-Mike Tallon Jan95

"I don't do hip things--hip things just keep happening to me."
-Jon Geffner of Tri-State area rockers Roy Wilson's Honky-Tonk Boys, on getting kicked in the head by a Doc Marten during a Beck set in Memphis while waiting for Dylan to come on. Apr95

"Guy makes the front page of The New York Times for showin up for work every day."
-Slim, on Cal Ripken Oct95

"I'd give my right arm to play the accordion. But then I couldn't play it."
-Spike Vrusho Jan95

"Hitler's on!"
-periodic announcement from the den to the rest of the house by Jeff Somerstein's dad, who theorizes that Hitler can be found on one channel or another 24 hours a day. Apr95

"It's not Buddy Hackett I like so much as the idea of Buddy Hackett."
-Waylon Wahl Nov96

"I oughta get paid more for typing up my own hate mail."
-Jim Knipfel, author, NYPress columnist, at work at the Press inputing a letter from "Jesus Christ." Mar97

"If you're tryin to do the music thing, you can't have goats."
-Cheri Knight Mar97

"You drive every car like it's a rental."
-Slim, parlaying Kevin's offer to drive faster to New Hampshire Nov97